Sweet Calmness

I know exactly what I was doing one year ago, to the hour. I had just finished cleaning up the kitchen and our daughter was still sitting at the table sipping her cold, chicken noodle soup and asking if she could get up yet. My husband was watching the weather channel because a storm was supposed to be coming our way. A few minutes later it was a bright yellowish, orange outside our back windows. It was so calm, not a gust of wind in sight. The weatherman mentioned something about a tornado. Our daughter looked at my husband and said in a fearful voice, "Is a tornado comin' to our house Daddy?" We reassured her that the sirens would go off if there was and that it was so calm outside, she had nothing to worry about.

Ten minutes later, our then 7 year old and 1 year old cling to my side as we sat on the couch. My husband anxiously looked out the window. We didn't hear a tornado siren, we just heard wind. A small tree, which is usually standing vertical, was now horizontal as the wind suddenly howls. It goes black outside and the lights flicker, then they go out. Wesley and I looked at each other and say, "Get in the hallway!"

Two seconds later, the window in our kitchen busts out as a gust of wind, rain and leaves hit us in our faces as we stand in the hallway. "Run to the bathroom!" one of us yells. Right outside our bathroom is an attic cubbie hole. Pressure was released and the cover to it, flops around making a loud banging noise. We sat on our bathroom floor in the pitch black, our children are crying and oddly enough we felt peace. We held hands and Wesley said a prayer. In the middle of his prayer, a verse came to me. It was a verse I had read two days before. It wasn't a verse that had stood out at the time. I hadn't made a point to memorize it, but there it was, in the midst of the storm; a verse, in my head. I knew it could have only come from one place.

"Have no fear of sudden disaster...for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared." (Proverbs 3:25-26

Yall-that verse, of all verses came to my mind! Isn't that just amazing? The Lord knew two days before, as I was sipping my coffee, reading my Bible and doing my "usual routine" that I was going to lean on that verse. He knew that tornado was going to hit my neighborhood and He prepared me in advance for it. I am still humbled every time I think about that.

I can remember right after it hit, a friend of ours who lived up the street, came and knocked on our door to check on us. We walked out our front door to total pandemonium. It looked like there was snow covering the streets as the insulation was blown everywhere. There were roof tacks and lawn equipment, trampolines and gutters strewn everywhere. I felt as if I was in a movie and I was dreaming. I had never seen something like that before.

That night we all slept in the hallway right outside the bathroom. We were told that another storm was coming and our children were not about to go anywhere without us in a dark house! We snuggled up together and slept as best we could. Thankfully there was not another bad storm, just a lot of heavy rain. I can remember laying there, listening to the neighbor across the street pounding with a hammer through the lightening and the rain trying to cover up a hole in his roof where the rain was pouring in his living room.

We were SO blessed and SO lucky. That tornado ripped the roof off my next door neighbor and the house next to hers and the houses across our street. My house, the pressure was released when that kitchen window popped out and it saved our roof. It was as if that tornado jumped over my house and kept going. My poor neighbor was in her bathroom with her daughter when her roof poped off and the storm and rain poured in, on top of them. I can't even imagine. Now we didn't come out totally unscathed, but our damage was so small compared to so many.

In the days that followed, we became good friends with our neighbors. I was able to share my testimony many times. There were several people who said they thought they were going to die that night. They were amazed when we said, we really were not afraid.

I have shared my story many times. Just last week, I was registering Foster to get his tubes and the lady working there and I got in a conversation about how the year anniversary was coming up. I was able to tell her how God spoke so clearly to me through that storm. I walked out of the hospital amazed that God was still giving me an opportunity to share.

Now I know that next time (if there is a next time) that a tornado hits, we may lose our house. There were a lot of very good people who lost so much. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. For some reason or another, this time, God had another plan for my family and I.

I am reminded just how important it is to read His Word. He holds the key to your tomorrows. He knows the future while we may have plans for tomorrow-do we really know what is going to happen? I often wonder how I would have felt that night, had I not read my Bible that week. Would I have been scared to death? Would I have freaked out and only scared my children even more? I am so glad that I will never know! What a reminder of how much He talks to us through His Word-if we will only be willing to listen.

PS~As a side note: For those of you who are "date" people, you might remember that the storm hit the night of March 1st. I will always remember it because my brothers birthday was the next day. I am more of a "day" person-I know it happened on a Thursday because my husband couldn't get to work on Friday and given that it is leap year, March 1st will not fall until Saturday. Just had to throw that tidbit in there, for all you technical folks!

A New Day

Last week our two year old had to get tubes put in his ears. When we left to go to the hospital, it was still dark outside. You could feel the crisp morning air and almost "hear" the silence of the earth. I love the way it feels outside first thing in the morning. Everything feels so fresh, so new. The birds are still sleeping in their nests, the sun has not yet risen to light the day. It feels like even the trees and blades of grass are sleeping. It's a new beginning. It is another chance that God has given us, to walk in His light and in His love.

As we drove to St. Francis hospital, we couldn't help but notice the one creation (besides ourselves!) that wasn't sleeping.-the moon. It was huge- I'm talking "E.T. go home" huge! On our way to my mothers to drop off the other children, the moon was really big and on the right side of our car. Later, as we drove past the airport, it was much smaller and right in front of us. After a few minutes and few turns later, is was a little bigger, but on our left side. I commented to Wesley how it is neat to watch the way it "moves"; only it wasn't moving-we were. The moon was stationary the whole time, but depending on where we were, determined if it was closer or farther away, on our left side or our right side. It reminded me of a movie, (though I cannot remember the name) where they talk about their "One True North". I started to think about my own "One true north", the thing that is always there, no matter what happens. It is the foundation that will not be shaken, the part of your life compass that is always there to guide you back to where you need to be.

For me, God is like the moon on that crisp morning. I may decide to go one way or another, but He is still there watching and waiting for me to return to Him-my one true north. At times we may not feel His presence in our lives, but in the words of Job,

"But if I go to the east he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. But He knows the road that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold." (Job 23:8-10).

Even though Job was searching to find Him and couldn't actually "feel" Him-he had faith that God still knew right where he was. I pray I can be like Job and be found faithful and "come forth as gold" like we know he did. This morning after re-reading my post yesterday, I almost deleted it. I sounded so whinny and complaining. My struggles in this life are so small compared to so many others. God has blessed me with so much, yesterday I just had a harder time seeing it. I apologize for complaining. That was never my intent. There will be days where we feel we've lost our way or where we can't see the Light. But never lose hope or get discouraged-He knows right where you are!

Today is a new day, a new beginning and another chance to live the way He wants me to live. I am so unworthy of so many chances, yet He continues to give them. Today, I have found my One True North who was there all along, watching and waiting for me to realize He was there!

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I have many devotion books lying around my house for me to pick up depending on what room I might be in. After writing this, I happened to look at the one in my bathroom while I was getting ready for my day. This is a book that has a very short and simple devotion for every day of the year. Guess what verse it talked about for today-the same one you see written up above! I about fell over when I saw that. God is reminding me and reassuring me over and over again that He is with me and that He cares about all the silly things I care about. What a mighty God we serve!

The Simple Life

A few people have asked me or my husband why I haven't written on my blog in a while. I can remember asking the same question to an old friend when it had been a while since he'd last written. He looked at me and said, "In order to write, you must be inspired, frankly the inspiration has gone out of me." That is truly how I have felt lately.

There are so many things we must do everyday, that it is so hard to find time for all the things we want to do. There are times throughout my day where I start to question my life. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my life, I love being a stay at home mother and I have a wonderful family. But...there are times in the midst of changing the umpteenth diaper and breaking up the 10th argument between siblings and holding a baby so long that I start to feel claustrophobic, that I start to long for a break. I start to daydream about being on some exotic vacation with just me and my hubbie, it doesn't take long for me to snap back to reality, as I hear the baby start to cry again. Anyway...where was going with this?

Oh yeah, this morning...Lucky for me, I did my devotion today. I have quit calling it my "quiet time" because there's not much of it that is "quiet"! For instance, this morning I was trying to finish reading when I was stopped to get more juice, change a diaper, get more cereal and change the TV channel to my two year olds favorite show. Despite all my distractions, the Lord blessed my effort and was still able to reach out to my weary heart.

This morning I read Luke 5:1-11. It is about Simon Peter and his crew who fished all night long with not much to show for it. Jesus tells him to go back out to sea and throw his nets over again. Instead of asking Jesus (who was a carpenter), what he knew about fishing and arguing that he had already spent hours doing that to no avail, he complied and did as Jesus said. As most of you know, Simon Peter caught so many fish, that they filled up two boats and the weight was so great that they started to sink from so many fish! Simon was reminded just how infinite Jesus knowledge is and he saw himself for what he was-a sinner.

I was reminded that so many times during my parenting days, instead of giving things over to the Lord, I hold on to them and try and fix everything. Jesus knows better than I do, how to be a parent. He knows how to be an accountant, a banker, a teacher, a homemaker, a lawyer or anything else we could do. Beth Moore said, "For crying out loud, the One who knows the numbers of hairs on your head could also style them if He wanted! Not one of us does anything for a living that He can't do better." How true those words are. This past Sunday, the sermon was about Paul's prayer for the Ephesians. He prayed that they would "grasp how wide and long and high and deep" the love of Christ is. His love "surpasses knowledge".- We cannot even begin to comprehend how much He loves us.

Sunday night, I was able to meet with the ladies in my Sunday school department for some great food, a fun game and most importantly, a devotion and prayer time. I must admit to being a little nervous to share what the Lord had placed on my heart. Guess what it was? It was all about God's love for us. In Psalms 139, it is very detailed how He knows us inside and out. I had no idea the week before, while I was planning our bible study that the sermon for the same day would be about God's love. It makes me laugh out loud when God does that. He knew before I did and He had a plan that I didn't know about.

There is nothing that is thrown my way that He can't help me with. Instead of going alone, I need to call on Him to be my partner. Today I am reminded that He knows right where I am. He knows my heart and He loves me. Nothing else really matters does it? How simple life would be if all we did was focus on that.

What a Responsibility

The past two Sunday's our interim pastor has been trying to prepare our congregations hearts for our new pastor that is coming the beginning of next month. He has been laying out the role and responsibility that a minister has over his flock-and what our role is as the congregation. It's kind of like when you were a child, you didn't know how to stay out of trouble, until your parents told you what you could and could not do. The Lord has really been opening my eyes to the responsibilities of Sunday School teachers and deacons also. Our pastor talked about a verse I hadn't read in a while.

"Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers,

because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." (James 3:1)

To teach or lead in a church is a huge deal. It says right there in black and white, that you will be judged more strictly. You are held to a higher standard because you are guiding and leading God's children. What a major responsibility! Teaching a Sunday School class isn't something you do to try and reach some kind of "church social status". It's not something you do to draw closer to the Lord-it is something you do because you are already close to the Lord and you want to share in that wisdom He has given you. You must seek Him daily in prayer and be in His word if you are to be a teacher and leader in a church. In the words of Jesus himself, "If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit!" (Matthew 15:14b).

This past week has been crazy and next week will be even crazier. Thursday morning, I realized that next Sunday, the ladies of my Sunday School department are getting together for fellowship and a short Bible study-a Bible study that I am responsible for leading. I realized that in the midst of chaos, I must make time to seek God in prayer and to be in the Word everyday if I am to be equipped enough to lead these ladies. To lead them is a huge responsibility. I started out with a huge stack of bible study books. I started flipping through trying to get ideas on what we should talk about. Suddenly in the midst of thinking, "Oh, this looks good; maybe I'll use this material." I realized-I hadn't even asked God what HE wanted us to talk about! Here I was-with Marion's strength trying to find something on my own accord without even seeking His guidance. I stopped right there, closed the book and started praying. After all-this isn't about me or what I think sounds good-it is ALL ABOUT HIM and how He chooses to use me. I want it to be His words-not mine that leads this group of wonderful ladies.

Right after, and I mean RIGHT AFTER I finished praying, I got an idea of what we should talk about-an idea that was not in a book at all! Then I flipped open another book I hadn't looked at yet and guess what-there in black and white was something I could use with the bible study. I was amazed and how things were starting to align itself. An hour later I got a phone call from a dear friend of mine. We started talking about different things and I invited her to come next Sunday night. I started telling her what God had laid on my heart to share. With enthusiasm in her voice she said, "You will never believe this, but I am doing that same thing in my Tuesday morning bible study and it has been so great!" We laughed at how God reaffirmed what He had told me earlier that morning. God is so great isn't He! When we take ourselves out of the equation and ask Him to use our lives to bring Him glory-He will do just that very thing!

I needed to be reminded that even though my life is so busy, if I am to be a teacher and leader of someone- I MUST make time to seek His Word. It is the VERY BREATH of God Himself! How amazing that is! If I don't read it and seek Him in prayer, I'll be like the blind man who leads others astray. I will be accountable for every word that comes out of my mouth-how I pray that it is His words and not mine!

The Loves of Our Lives

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.

Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands,

you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands

and remain in His love.

I have told you this so that my joy may be in you

and that your joy may be complete."

John 15:9-11

Who do you love? There are many obvious people you can think of I'm sure-your spouse, your children, your best friend, your pet. Who else? I love to see people smile when I pass them in the grocery store aisle. I love to see the older women in my church reach across generational lines and give me a hug on Sunday mornings. I love it when I see a father hold his child. I love to see someone doing something they are passionate about. I love seeing a man hold a door open for a woman. I love to see a grandparent embracing their grandchild. I love to see my daughters eyes light up every Christmas season as we pull into Wesley's parents driveway and she sees their yard decorated in lights.

What things do you love to smell? I love waking up to the smell of coffee. I love the way a campfire smells in the fall time. I love the way the air would smell when my Grandpa would cook ribs on the grill. I love the smell of my mother's homemade rolls. I love the smell of Gain laundry detergent. I love the smell of Pizza Hut pizza! I love the way the air smells so fresh right after it rains. I love the smell of a flower garden when its blossoms are all in bloom. I love the way a baby smells right after they take a bath.

What kinds of things do you love to do? I love it when I wake up early, feeling refreshed and I can sit in the quiet of my house and read my Bible. I love teaching my children new things and seeing their eyes light up when they start to understand. I love watching my children grow older with my husband. I love walking in the park and watching God's beautiful nature play out before me. I love to write and to go to ladies bible study. I love to bake cookies with my daughter and listen to her tell me all about the things going on in her life that I might have missed. I love holidays when my whole family is home and we can simply enjoy each others company. I love to sit on the couch in my living room and watch the red cardinal perch on my back fence. I love doing pottery and making something out of clay and turning it into something beautiful. I love to take pictures and try and freeze those special moments in time forever.

What kinds of things do you love to feel? I love to feel my husband's warm hand in mine. I love to feel his hand on the small of my back as he guides me into a room. I love to feel the soft, cuddly pj's as I hold my child. I love the way your hair feels so soft right after you wash and dry it. I love the feel of crisp, clean blue jeans. I love the way a hot cup of hot chocolate feels on a cold day. I love the feel of my son's soft skin, on my face. I love how you feel when you finally take that plunge of faith and surrender to the Lord-it's the best kind of weight loss!

This is just a small glimpse of so many things that I love about life; to name everything would take all day. There are so many things that we have right at our fingertips to enjoy. I need to do this everyday to remind myself of just how many blessings I do have. So often our minds are focused on what we wish we had or on what someone else has, that we take for granted all the blessings we do have.

This Valentines Day, remember love doesn't just come from God-He is love! As you look around at your life, all the ins and out's of it-thank Him for all the loves in your life. Since He is the source of love-all of those things are His gifts to you this Valentines Day! How unworthy I am to be loved so much!

"Jesus replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself."

Matthew 22:37-39

Electoral Peace

We woke up this morning and instantly turned on the television to see how the vote went yesterday. After a very long day which started at 5:15 that morning, we couldn't hold our eyes open past 10 pm to see which presidential candidate won which state. After watching the news I must admit, I felt discouraged and a little worried over our country's future. There is no real candidate that I just love, but there is a few which I really do not like! When I think about what power and control this person will have over not just our country's future, but our children's future. By the time another presidential race will come around, Randol will be in middle school, Foster in 1st grade and Will in kindergarten! Let's take it a step farther if this person gets re-elected for a second term, Randol will be graduating high school, Foster and Will will almost be done with elementary school! WOW! Lots of changes, in just four to eight years. After sitting and thinking about which candidate stood for which issue and the implications of what would happen should their policies become more than just words said in a speech, I started to worry.

You know what? God used His Word to bring me comfort and relief. He reminded me of a very well known verse in Romans, "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist, have been established by God." (Romans 13:1)

"But Lord, I can look around at the governments of some foreign countries and see such devastation and horrible things happening to the people. How can you have established that and allowed those governments to do the things they do, to good people?"

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither your ways, My ways," declares the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8)

But, what if our new government, under a new president messes up this wonderful country we are so blessed to live in?

"...That power is like the working of His mighty strength, which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age, but also in the one to come." (Ephesians 1:20-21)

Don't worry my child; I am still on the throne!

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34) Isn't that the truth!

So, I got the message this morning-I will leave America's future in His hands. It's all I can really do anyway, isn't it? Worrying about it, isn't going to change one bit of the course of our future! How easy it is to forget that!

Seize the Day!

On Thursday, Wesley and I went back to Cuthbert, GA where he graduated from Andrew College. My eyes were awakened to all the places he talks so fondly about. He has so many memories of going to school there. He talks more about his two years at Andrew than his 5 years at Mercer. He still keeps up with a few guys he graduated with, but there's not many from Mercer that he's still in contact with. David Seyle, the Academic Dean from when Wesley was at Andrew was inaugurated as Andrew College's 21st President. Wesley has many fond memories of sitting in this man's office and as he says, "shooting the breeze".

Wesley's close friend Chad, who graduated with him, works at Andrew and is moving to Washington DC. Our trip had a duel purpose, to share with this man whom Wesley has always looked up to and respected in a very memorable day of his life, and to visit with Chad and his wife Jill before they move.

We sat through an hour and a half long ceremony with an 8 month old on my lap listening to the biographies of the speakers lives and then of Dr. Seyle. We were surrounded by much older people who were retired or about to retire. They spoke of their "glory days" and what they did when they were younger, what life decisions they made and what accomplishments they have achieved. I couldn't help but think about my husband and our life together. If we were to write a biography of our lives now, how different the page will be in 20 or 40 years from now. My mother commented to me the other day, that in 20 years our daughter will be my age and I'll be my mother's age. It's not hard for me to imagine being her age, but it is REALLY hard for me to picture my daughter at my age! What will have happened in those 20 years? Where will life have taken us?

When I look back on my perception of how my future was going to turn out-I didn't have a clue! If you would have told me 15 years ago that one day I'd be married to the tall, skinny, cross country runner who came and played Axis and Allies with my dad-I would have laughed in disbelief. If you would have told me 10 years ago that instead of graduating from college in four years that I'd go on a life adventure that would end in so much sorrow, I would never have believed you.

I never would have thought just 3 years ago that I'd be homeschooling one day. I never would have believed 18 months ago, after having a 9 month old baby that I'd be about to get pregnant again. Just about every part of my life has turned out completely different than I ever would have thought. Some turned out worse, because of bad decisions on my part, but mostly it turned out better than I could've imagined-because of Jesus Christ and His part!

What decisions are you making today that will impact your future, your children's future. Should we move into another house? Should I take that new promotion or job? Should I stay at home or work? Should I retire? What school should I put my children in? What church should I go to? On and on our decisions go that will impact us and change the course of our lives. We may all be in different walks of life, but one thing remains the same-none of us know what tomorrow will hold or what changes will happen in our lives. Last Sunday our new pastor spoke on change. He got a phone call one day saying that a close friend of his from his congregation had died of a heart attack at the age of 35. Life happens-change happens. Dr. Seyle said in his speech that the Department of Labor predicts that the top 10% of most wanted jobs in the next 20 years-haven't even been invented yet. The technology that will assist in these jobs hasn't even been discovered. Life changes-technology changes.

We are given a choice, we can either remain in the past always looking back at decisions we made, wishing we could do them differently. We can constantly live with regret and guilt and sadness or anger.

Or we can look back only to share where God has brought us from; what pits He used in our lives to bring Him glory. If it doesn't call for that, we can continue to look ahead and seek God's face for our future. A future in His will doesn't promise a life of ease with no troubles, but it does offer a life full of inner peace. I don't know what my future holds, but I do know Who does. I need to constantly remind myself that I don't have to fear the future or what it may bring or live looking back on mistakes or regrets. Instead I can look ahead and embrace tomorrow and all the blessings it will bring by living a life in His presence.

"Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions,

and enables him to enjoy them,

to accept his lot and be happy in his work-this is a gift of God.

He seldom reflects on the days of his life,

because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart."

Ecclesiastes 5:19-20