My Beloved SS Class

I have now missed three Sunday's of my beloved SS class. I have to admit when Randol came and told me she didn't feel good Saturday night, only to find she had a fever of 103.4 I selfishly thought, "Now I can't go to Sunday School in the morning". The previous times I missed was because we were out of town and then I helped in the nursery. I have truly been blessed with a loving, genuine, caring and uplifting class. I feel so disconnected from them right now. It seems as though it's been months since I've seen certain people. It's amazing how missing a few weeks makes such a huge difference! Our church is currently going through some HUGE, major changes right now. We are currently sheep with a desperate need for a Shepherd. I know that God has some exciting things in our future. In the meantime of trying to to "be still" and wait to see what His plans are, I am so glad I have my SS class.

It's neat the way God brings people together. When we first started teaching this class there were maybe 8-10 regular people who came every Sunday, now we have roughly 22-30 people every week! It has been amazing to watch and see what He has done. I think it is so important for believers to have fellowship with one another. We need that support so that we can continue to be a light to others in this dark world. Our class has all different kinds of people. There are stay at home moms and business women, teachers and executives of big corporations. There are dental hygienists and occupational therapists, lawyers and salesmen and on and on I could go. Some have been married many, many years and some are practically newlyweds, with alot of others in between. Some have older children, others with newborns and others with four legged furry friends. So many differences, yet we are all joined under one banner-the banner of Christ. We all learn from each other and grow with each other. It's amazing to see the different ways God works in our lives. He is so personal to each of us and meets us in whatever situation we are in. I think we will sometimes look at how God speaks to another and expect Him to speak to us the same way. He doesn't work like that. He speaks to us in whatever way He has to to reach us. We are all so different with different personalities and interests. We need to learn to look for Him in all situations, because I guarantee, He will show up. To hear about what He is doing in other people lives is to hear about the wonderful love and diversity of our God. It shows us something different about Him and gives us an opportunity to learn more.

When my sister got married and moved away, my first piece of advice to her was to find a Sunday School class. I feel it is so vital and so important. I miss my friends, maybe this Sunday will work out! I finally decided to plan a girls night and eat dinner with the ladies in my class and the minsters wives so I can see everyone!-I have to admit I did it purely for selfish reasons! I am so blessed to have so many who love the Lord, in my life.

I found this scripture a long time ago and it is my prayer for our class:
"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ-to the glory and praise of God." ~Philippians 1:9-11

Finding God at Wal-Mart

Wesley and I keep saying that we need to buy gates to block Foster out of getting in the kitchen. Its one of those things I've needed to go get, but haven't found time to actually make it to the store. Well....I got a little inspiration last night as I caught Foster sitting in the fridge taking out all of the condiments from the door. The little stinker was trying to hold the door as closed as he could so I couldn't see him!

So...first thing this morning I loaded up the crew and headed for Walmart. I had no idea what an adventure we would have! I had also been putting off buying school supplies. I have all my material ready to go for this school year, but needed to buy the supplies to go with it. After sorting through the hundreds of different folders and notebooks and binders, my cart was fuller than I expected.

My last big item I needed was long florescent lights to go in my kitchen. My lights blew and I have been cooking in the dark practically for a few weeks now. Now I had two big gates, school supplies and long florescent lights in my cart (which made turning difficult because they stuck out of the end of the cart) . After you throw in a big box of diapers and a few groceries, there wasn't much room for anything else.

My brilliant idea for the day was to unload the whole cart on to the belt at the check out and then slide the gates and long light bulbs on the side of the cart to make room for all the bags. I thought it was a brilliant idea. I propped up the gates and light bulbs along the floor waiting for the cart to be emptied to put them back in.

All of a sudden...B-A-N-G. It sounded like a bomb went off, Foster starts screaming and Will decides to chime in as the two of them fight for who can cry the loudest. The cashier, an older man looks like he might have a heart attack and people are craning their necks in our direction to see what happened. The light bulbs fell, crashing on to the floor with a literal white puff of smoke rising in the air and glass EVERYWHERE. I had no idea florescent lights could make so much noise and such a massive mess!

After a nice lady came and swept up the glass and the cashier got his heart rate back to normal and continued adding up my tab, I realized there was NO WAY I was going to be able to get all the bags back into my cart. I went and got a second cart and finished loading up everything. We walked out of the store with me pushing one cart and pulling another with Randol trying to steer it. What a sight I must have looked like! I started getting those, "Bless your heart!" and "You must be crazy!" looks as we walked out the door.

In the middle of standing there with two screaming babies, bags of stuff everywhere and seeing what a celebrity I had become, I realized I had two choices, I could get extremely stressed out and embarrassed at what a scene I was making OR I could laugh and keep going, not worrying about what others thought. I chose the latter. I smiled and apologized and laughed, commenting that I had no idea what an adventure Walmart could be!

The only way I was still sane enough to realize my choices and to choose the better one was because the whole time I was there, God met me where I was. When I couldn't find the gates, a salesperson was right there for me to ask (and I can usually NEVER find help in Walmart). When I started getting stressed with Will whimpering in the sling threatening to start crying at any moment and Foster trying to climb out of the cart, a lady came with a huge smile and told me how precious my children were (which in that moment I really needed that reminder :-). After unloading the cart and trying to fit everything in the van while making sure there was room for my children to still fit, I thought, "How am I going to get these carts back inside?" A minute later, a couple walked up to me and asked if they could help me by taking the carts inside! Ah, what a blessing that small act was to me. So many little things to others, but so big to me. I know He placed people in my path for a reason. He met me in whatever situation I found myself in. What an awesome God who loves and cares about all the small things in my life. Who knew God shopped at Walmart!

"I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."
~Psalm 16:8

Baby Will

My sweet Baby Will! I finally got his pictures back yesterday (from my post "Frozen") and had to share! He looks NOTHING like his brother at this age! As my mother says, "He's his own little man!"Will Brian 7 weeks old

Beach Pictures

The beach at twilight (Randol on the bottom)

I would be in trouble without that sling!

He's got to read just like his daddy!

Straight to the Core

I must tell you the end of my "Brooke's mom" story (see last post). On our last morning, Randol was in front of Brooke's room coloring. I walked down to tell her we were about to leave. Brooke's mom asked me what my husband did for a living. I was confused because I thought everyone there was a lawyer. I was mistaken, her husband was an investigator. When she found out Wesley was an attorney her WHOLE attitude towards me changed. I mean night and day difference. We were all of a sudden best friends. I was confused. What my husband does for a living has NOTHING to do with who I am or what kind of person I am. Why did that make such a huge difference in her eyes?


When I started thinking these things as I walked back to my room (dragging Foster kicking and screaming b/c he wanted to stay outside :-) I realized that I had also judged her. When she acted so rude to me I automatically thought, "She's a typical lawyers wife, cares about money, status, who has the bigger, better car and house." There are so many women who think less of me just because I stay at home and home school my children. I assumed she was just another "one of them".


It made me think, what other times have I made assumptions about someone based purely on what job they have or what car they drive? There is one couple in particular that sticks out in my mind. They are very wealthy and drive really nice cars and go on overseas vacations a lot. Their children have expensive hobbies like horse riding and go to amazing summer camps that cost more than we make in a month. I automatically assumed they had a "we're better than you are" attitude just because of what I saw on the outside. When I got to know them I realized they are so down to earth and are some of the nicest people we know. They treat their wealth with responsibility-constantly helping others and blessing those by what God has blessed them with. I learned a good, hard lesson through their friendship.


The next time you see that neighbor with a new car or a stranger in really nice clothing, take time to find out who is under all that exterior stuff. It's the inside that matters. We spend so much of our lives fixing our hair and getting that nice tan, saving up for that new car or new electronic item to grace our home. When it comes to spiritual matters, it doesn't matter what we drive or how big our house is or how much money is in our bank account. God doesn't care about any of that. He cares about our heart-and we can't hide that from Him. He can see straight through to our core.


"...The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
~1 Samuel 16:7

Whose Watchin'?

When we were at the beach, Randol made a friend named Brooke. Brooke was a really sweet 9 year old girl who's room was near ours and who's dad was also there for the conference. I met Brooke's mother at the pool. There is no other way to say it, but she treated me like I was this little nobody who didn't have a brain. I don't know if it was me or if she treated most people like that. You could clearly tell she thought she was better than I was. I have no idea why she acted the way she did or what I possibly could have done to make her not like me in the first five minutes of talking to her. But I knew one thing-I never wanted to make someone else feel less than I was.


It made me think about the Mexican lady who cleaned our hotel room everyday. How did I make her feel? I would always feel bad when she would come to clean up my mess. Most of the time we were still in our room when she came so I would just take her the trash and get clean towels. Finally, the day before we left, our room really needed cleaning. When she came, I helped her clean our room. She looked at me like I was crazy. All I knew about this woman was that her name was Vicki and she could not speak or understand much English. She had a nice, shy smile with brown eyes that sparkled when I talked to her. I could tell she had been treated as the "hired help" she was and not as the person she is.


How many times have I treated others like I was better than them? Maybe a bag boy in the grocery store or a waitress in a restaurant. It could be a cashier at Walmart or the man changing your oil. In God's eyes we are all the same, there is no hierarchy of who is better than the other. The Lord reminded me through Brooke's mother how important it is to remember that. I wonder if I would've made such a point to be nice to Vicki if I hadn't had that reminder. How you treat others goes a long way. One bad word out of frustration and your whole testimony has gone down the drain. Our greatest testimony to the world is how we act-ALL the time, not just when we know others are watching.


"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
~Matthew 7:1-2

We're Back

Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't written in a while. We were out of town in Jekyll Island. We had a good time. It wasn't as bad as I expected having Foster and Will. I have to admit though, after being cramped in a room the size of my living room with my children for four days with them staying up until around 11pm and waking up shortly after the sun comes up-I am in the mood for some serious ME time! Hopefully I will get some and I will write more soon and post a few pictures.

PS~The Friday before we left, I was doing laundry...and Foster threw a whole 12 pack of Mt.Dew into the washer. By the time I caught him the cans were bumping around in the water with half the cardboard container sticking out of the top! That was just the beginning to our vacation :-)

Time to Jump

On Beth Moore's blog she said something that has got me thinking. She said that, "He who turns water into wine, turns wimps into warriors. You have a ministry. Go and fulfill it!"

I have a friend who took a huge leap of faith. I'm talking, close-your-eyes-jump- off-the-cliff-holding-hands-with-your-husband-and-children-and-KNOW-that- He-is-going-to-sweep-you-in-His-arms kind of leap. The kind of jump that will only bring Him glory. Recently, something happened that made her "jump" not turn out like she thought. Does that mean that God isn't in it? Does that mean she jumped, risking everything on something that wasn't in His will?

Absolutely not! It means He's God and we aren't. Just because you step out on faith, doesn't mean things will turn out the way you want or the way you expect. It means that God will receive His glory, His way, not ours.

On another note, how many times does God tell us to do something and we tell Him we can't? Last year my husband and I were in our church Christmas production. We played husband and wife which was fun, but there was a catch...we had to sing a duet. I agonized, worried, told God I could not do it. I imagined Simon Cowell from American Idol sitting in the audience saying, "What were you thinking? You can never show your face in this church again!" It ended up being fine, not great, but not horrible. I knew He was teaching me something, He was teaching me to trust and to just let go of fear.

About a month or two after the christmas show a lady in our church came up to me and said there was a song she wanted sung during the worship service. She said she tried to sing it, but it wasn't in her range. She prayed and God told her to ask me to sing it! I was touched-but scared to death. I'd like to tell you that the next Sunday I jumped on stage and sung my heart out....but that would be a lie. Here I am five months later and I still have the cd in my car. Don't get me wrong, I now know the song by heart, but I have yet to step foot on the stage to actually sing it. She emailed me the other day asking for her cd back! I'm so ashamed!

So many times I have put limits on an infinite, limitless God. He wants me to go the distance with Him, He wants me to trust Him...He wants me to jump. It sounds stupid, many would say get up there and sing the stupid song. To me, its not that easy and He knows it. He knows that the only way I can do it is with Him. I gotta believe that He can turn this wimp into His warrior.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,"declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
~Isaiah 55:8-9

Speak it Siesta!

The other day I called a dear christian siesta to ask her a simple, boring question-would she mind cutting my 21 month old sons hair. What I didn't know, but should've expected, was that by the end of my conversation I would feel so lifted and rejuvenated. What started out as a simple conversation about my sons cute curls that my husband wants to chop off, ended with a prayer over my daughter and my whole family. There are some people who I cannot hold my tongue with-in a good way. I seem to open my mouth and all that is bothering me or on my mind seems to come out in a few short minutes. She has a gift of reaching people by her ability to show how much she cares through just her voice. She has no idea how God has used her to speak to me. I know that she is in tuned with my Abba and what she has to say is said out of love and in truth. I love the way our Heavenly Father uses His people to reach His people. It is such a beautiful expression of how He meets us where we are.

I am so blessed to be surrounded by powerful christian women who will tell me the truth, tell me what I NEED to hear-not just what I WANT to hear. There is such a HUGE difference. I think with most friendships we tend to want to say what makes the other feel good. We are so afraid of hurting some one's feelings. It takes a special person to speak the truth, even if we don't want to hear it-we need to (as long as it is spoken in love)!

I pray that I can be that example to others. That they SEE Jesus in me and that they HEAR Him in my voice. I pray that just like my friend, I am a vessel He can use. I often think of the obvious ways I'm being used by Him, bringing meals to someone, praying for another, helping out at church etc. I tend to forget that He also uses us in the tiniest situations, like the other day, just listening, just being there. Those moments are also a gift from up above. It's His way of reminding us that He cares about the small things in our lives as well as the big things.

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." ~Proverbs 18:24

My Leftovers

I have been realizing how all the things I NEED to do doesn't leave much time for all the things I WANT to do. There is such a big gap! I feel like when I get some "me time" I often waste it away and regret how I spent it. Time is so precious and how you spend it is so important.
Choice's, so many choices.

What to do today?

What road to take?

Should I do this today or tomorrow?

More importantly, am I giving Him the time I should?
Honestly, lately I don't feel like I have been. I feel like He gets my leftovers, the time I have left in my day (if there is any). I pray all throughout my day; when a person jumps in my mind or I find myself worrying about something or thinking about a certain situation. But the time of uninterrupted time, BEING STILL...I don't make much time for that. I feel guilty admitting that, but it is true.

I think we tend to wish our relationship with God was like a McDonald's commercial, "Your way right away!" Sometimes I wonder if God feels like we see Him as our waiter, "Please bring me some patience. I could use a little healing today. Please bring me more of this or that." on and on our requests go. But how many times do we
S

T

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and listen? Stop and SIT STILL, waiting patiently for His soft, sweet voice. I need to work on that. My relationship with God shouldn't be a one way conversation, that's not a relationship. A relationship is a two way street. I need to learn to manage my time better and make sure that I take some WANTED, NEEDED time out to sit and rest in the arms of my Savior. How many times have I asked what His will is for my life? And how many fewer times have I sat and listened for His answer?

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him..." ~Psalms 37:7

"Be still and know that I am God..." ~Psalms 46:10

Wake Up!

Last night I was watching the Wonder Years on TV. It was all about Kevin's family going on a summer vacation to the beach. All three of the siblings are teenagers and as you can imagine, no one really wanted to go, let alone go and do anything together as a family. Throughout the show Kevin reminisces about what family vacations used to be like when they were all younger, everyone smiling and having the best time. The show ends with that happening again. It made me think, one day my kids will all be grown up and not want to snuggle with me or do things as a family either. Its a normal stage of developing their independence. I still remember (and regret) the year I went to the beach with a friends family instead of going to New York with my own.

We are going to our yearly "kind-of vacation" to Jekyll Island in a week. I say "kind-of" vacation because the main purpose of going is so Wesley can take classes to get re-certified to continue practicing law. He has to go and sit in lectures all morning for 5 hours. I have been stressing about going this year. Now we have a newborn and a toddler, how am I going to watch them at the pool by myself while Wesley is gone? What will I do to entertain them all morning in a hotel room if I don't go to the pool/beach? How will Foster ever be able to fall asleep when we are all in the same room together? And many, many more silly questions fill my mind. Last night as I'm sitting there watching the Wonder Years I realized, none of that matters. What matters is that we will all be together as a family making memories. Kids grow and change so fast. I need to hold on to each stage they are in because soon they will be on to something else.

God has given us a gift with Wesley's job that we get to go to a beach every year on basically the governments dime. How can I take that for granted? And more importantly, how can I not be excited and let Satan to take away my joy?

There are so many other important problems in this world that are alot worse than "How am I going to get my son to sleep?"! I will waste away my whole life if I spend it worrying about such petty things! I never imagined God would use a Wonder Years episode to snap me back to reality! Like I said a few posts back, He meets you where you are, in whatever circumstances you're in! What an awesome God we serve!

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not your life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

~Matthew 6:25-27

The Sweet Surprise

Yesterday Wesley and I were given a sweet surprise by my mother.We needed to take our van into the shop to get it looked at and asked my mom to come over to watch the kids so I didn't have to deal with transferring over car seats etc. She called on her way over to tell me that she was watching my children while my husband and I go to lunch (that she was paying for), after we dropped off the van. I fought her and fought her, saying she didn't need to. She insisted and finally as an obedient daughter, I went.

The whole time I was driving to meet Wesley at the car shop I kept thinking, "I don't feel stressed, like I need a break from my children." The moment I saw Wesley's sweet face beaming at me with such excitement in his eyes, I knew-he needed time alone with me. We didn't go anywhere fancy or spend all afternoon leisurely taking our time. Just having that hour and a half to ourselves to sit and talk without worrying about Randol's ears listening or losing your train of thought because the baby is crying, that small amount of time was enough. We sat in the booth and talked non stop until we left.

I have heard of people saying that they accidentally put their children before their marriage and before they know it, the children are gone and they are left living with a stranger. It happened to too many of my friends parents after high school. It makes sense right? The kids need you, can't do things without you, time is scarce, by the time you put kids to bed and are alone with your spouse, your so exhausted and ready to go to sleep yourself. Welsey and I always promised each other that we wouldn't be that way. That we would stay up a little later, put the kids to bed a little earlier if need be, just to be able to stay connected, to stay best friends. I know that hard times will come and go, but I pray that we are strong enough to make it through any storm.

I haven't been married very long and I don't claim to be an expert, but to me marriage isn't about the big things-the anniversary gifts or what trips you took together-its about all the small things. It's the little "I love you's", holding hands watching the news and goodbye kisses as they leave for work. It's the way you look at each other, the tone of your voice when you talk to each other and how you respect each other. It's all the day to day things that matter the most.

I want others to look at the relationship with my husband and know it is real, know we are soul mates and are inseparable without the other. I want to leave a legacy of love behind for my children and my grandchildren. Growing up, my parents would fight sometimes, but I never worried about them getting a divorce or having to decide which parent to live with. I knew that they loved each other and respected each other and couldn't live without the other. I want my children to have that same assurance.

Sharing children with the one you love, can be one of the greatest adventures or the greatest hardships, its up to you how you make the journey.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."
~Genesis 2:24

PS~ On another note, if you are in an abusive relationship, please do not stay and "weather any storm". Take care of yourself and of your children. In those cases, putting your child first, before your marriage is essential. I have been in one of those relationships and I know thinking, "It will get better" does not always work. Please seek the help you desperately need.

Right Where I Am

About a month ago, I was driving to the orthodontist office. I could feel my stress level rising as Will was screaming at the top of his lungs, Foster was kicking the passenger seat and Randol was trying to read me something out of her animal magazine from the way back seat of our van. All I could think of was "This is going to be a nightmare, how am I going to be able to do this?" I was stopped at a red light and out of no where I thought, "He knows right where I am. Nothing can get to me before it goes through Him first," and this gentle, calming peace passed over me. It ended up not being a nightmare, Will went to sleep in his car seat within 5 minutes and Foster sat and looked at books.

Well yesterday...was a nightmare. I took Foster to the doctor to see if he had an ear infection (which he did). He was already tired and it was lunch time and we had to wait TWO HOURS before the doctor came into the room. As I'm standing there holding Will in the baby sling while Foster is screaming and trying to climb up my back to get away from the doctor I thought, "He knows right where I am. Let it all go," and once again, the calming peace filled my soul in the middle of the doctors office. How assuring it is to know that He knows right where I am, watching over me and waiting to call out to Him in the tiny moments of my day. He cares about all those small things that matter to me. Nothing is too small or too large for God.

Many years ago my mothers best friend lost her husband and was left to raise 5 very small children on her own. She has countless stories of all the tiny things God took care of for her. One day she was looking around her house and wondering how she was ever going to have time to clean up. Within minutes her phone rang and it was a lady from her church saying that she had hired a housekeeper to come once a week!

When I was a small child, we didn't have alot of money. We ran out of milk one day and my mother in a desperate plea to herself said,"I need milk!". Within minutes our phone rang and the lady up the street said she accidentally bought an extra gallon of milk without realizing it and wondered if we needed any!

Most people would say it was a coincidence, but I say it was God. To the world a lot of this stuff is small, but He knows how important it is to me. I have learned that it is just as important to cry out to Him in those small, stressful moments of my day, than it is to cry out when something huge happens in my life. He is watching and waiting to meet me right where I am.

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests."
~Ephesians 6:18a

Whatever

I have always believed that the Lord puts people in our lives for a reason. We may not understand how friendships come to be, but before we know it, there is someone who you find yourself talking to all the time, about nothing. The Lord has blessed me with such a friend.

God brought us together when she found out she could not have anymore children. Very soon after that, I found out I was pregnant with Will. I remember my heart breaking, all I could think of was her. She's the one who wanted a baby so badly, she's the one this should have happened too. I was afraid to tell her, afraid she'd be upset like I had done it on purpose. More importantly, I was afraid of making her heart hurt more than it already had.


I couldn't have been more wrong. She has been my best supporter and my biggest encourager. I never knew then, how much I would come to need her friendship. There are so many times I will see her holding my precious baby, knowing her heart still longs for one of her own. I find myself praying for a miracle, praying that the Lord would give her the baby she greatly deserves.


I have heard many people say, "Don't drink the water unless you want to get pregnant". I find myself praying that the Lord would let her drink the water! I know that He is the almighty God, maker of heaven and earth. I know that He is capable of opening a women's womb; He did it time and time again in the bible. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I know all of this in my head, but do I believe it in my heart?

When I pray for things only He can do, dream dreams that only He can accomplish, I hear His soft voice asking, "Who do you say that I am? Do you believe I can answer your prayer no matter how unbelievable or impossible it may seem?" Some days its easier to believe than others. In the back of my mind I will hear myself wondering, "What if He says no?" and I will lose my faith that He can say yes.


I have seen His power and I have seen Him do so many impossible things in my life, I pray He will do the impossible in hers.

"Jesus replied,"I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt,...you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw your self into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
~Matthew 21:21-22

Dreamin'

Have you ever read something that gets under your skin, making it impossible to get out of your head? Recently a fellow blogger and more importantly a mentor, wrote about the need to dream God-size dreams. To dream and hope and think about something no human can accomplish, something only God can do. It gets me thinking. What is my God-size dream? I am so goal oriented, so controlling, letting go is hard for me to do. To allow your self to dream of something you cannot do and not just dismiss it because it seems impossible. WOW, I want to live my life like that.

I keep feeling like God is preparing Wesley and I, like we are on the verge of something, but I don't know what. My eyes are always open, watching and waiting to see if today will be the day His mystery is revealed. I often wonder if He is revealing His plan a little at a time. I wish I could wake up and see the whole picture sometimes, but God doesn't usually work like that. He wants to bring about His glory through His people by accomplishing things through us that only He can do. It's so hard not to doubt and to be willing to go the extreme with God.

What is my dream that only God can fill? We are all meant to dream God-sized dreams. He places them in our hearts and He gives us the power and knowledge to see them be realized if they are according to His will.

I'll have to keep watching and waiting to see, will today be the day?

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord who is the Spirit . . . But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.
~2 Corinthians 3:18; 4:7

All You Can Do is Laugh!

My 20 month old son Foster is obsessed with light switches, closing doors and seeing how things work. One of his favorite things to do is push a chair up to the washing machine and watch the clothes and the water go around and around. I have to admit, there have been many days where I'll need to get something done around the house and to "entertain" him, I will throw in a load of towels so he can watch them go round and round for 20 minutes.

Monday was "Laundry Day" and while he was being good standing guard over my clothes, I was checking email. After about 5-10 minutes when he was still being quiet I went to check on him. He looked up at me excitedly and said his one word, "See!" pointing to the washing machine. I looked in and there were his shoes and a handful of his cereal going round and round as he watched. Then to make sure I shared in the excitement he threw in another handful of cereal he had in his hand! I had to run the clothes through the rinse cycle twice to get all the mushy cereal out!

Then later that day I had just bought a new Kleenex box of 260 tissues. As I am in my room folding laundry I come into the kitchen and he is sitting on the floor with every single Kleenex on the floor wiping his nose one by one with a huge pile of tissues everywhere!

Yesterday we were at my moms house where there are people everywhere and he somehow managed to find the (brand new) bottle of gas drops. He took the lid off and of course, dumped the bottle upside down all over the floor leaving a sticky mess behind!

It is in these moments I have to remind myself not to get mad or angry. He's learning how the world works, what things look like and feel and taste like. I know these are stories I will share with him one day when he has children. I'm sure I'll probably have 100 more by that point! He makes me realize that it's ok to slow down and analyze something, it's ok to enjoy life and not keep going, going, going all the time. In the end getting angry or frustrated doesn't solve anything, all you can really do is laugh!

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:...a time to weep and a time to laugh"~Ecc.3:1,4

PS~ I know there are many moms and dads who read this blog. I would love to hear some of your funny stories that your children did! Please feel free to share!

Frozen

Yesterday I ventured out to get Will's baby pictures done. I walked in there confident, knowing exactly what I wanted and I left feeling like I'd spent too much money and wasn't sure I was going to LOVE the pictures I bought. What is it about the importance of taking photographs? My great grandmother only had one photograph of her parents. One picture. WOW! I already have boxes of pictures in my room and I continue to add to them. A picture freezes time. Everything stops, no more aging, no more growing up, it stays exactly the same in that moment forever.

Walking away from the portrait studio, feeling a little aggravated at the sales lady I told myself, "It's ok Marion, better to have too many pictures than not enough. Now when he gets married and his wife wants pictures of when he was a baby you can give her, her own copy and not have to take your copy off the wall." Then it struck me that one day the pictures we took today will be looked at for generations to come. Will may be someones great-grandfather and that great-grand daughter will have a photograph of my son when he was 7 weeks old. Amazing!

If you were to come in my house you would notice a wall full of old black and white photographs from Wesley and I's families. There is one of my Gramma sitting in the back of an old Cadillac when she is seventeen looking so alive, so beautiful. There's another one of Wesley's Grandma when she is nine years old standing on the side of the road with her mom and sisters. In the background is a gas station with a sign saying gas costs 11 cents a gallon! They have left this world and are helping the Lord prepare our houses in the Lambertus-Graydon neighborhood in heaven...but there they are on my wall looking back at me, young, vibrant, alive.

With the exception of Randol, my children won't remember Wesley's grandparents or my Gramma because they will have never met. They will only know what we tell them. They will know how my Gramma used to embarrass me by poking me in the side whenever she saw a cute boy and nod her head in his direction. They will know how at Easter one year , my Gramma scattered a trail of lettuce everywhere and told me the Easter bunny was taking it home to her babies. Or how Wesley's Grandma used to forget he had a local phone number when he was away at college and would call using a calling card. How his Grandma had the best corn bread and Wesley can't see a coke float without thinking of the summer afternoons when she would lovingly make him one. Our children will know how special our grandparents made us feel, how loved we knew we were in their presence and how even today I can still feel my Gramma smiling down on me.

Most people think it's morbid to talk about dying, but I think it is necessary. Necessary to realize that all you are promised is today. If you make excuses and say, "I'll call them tomorrow, or I'll apologize later or I'll tell them I love them soon" you may never get to tomorrow or later. Seize the day, make it His own and don't put off the things that matter just because your too busy or you have a big deadline coming up. What you do today impacts people tomorrow. What kind of legacy are you leaving behind?
P.S. These are just a few of my favorite pictures since Will was born.

"Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter; Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man."

~Ecclesiastes 12:13

No X-Ray Vision

Recently I ran into someone from my past. I saw her from across the room and my heart fell to my stomach. She knew so much about me...the OLD me. I could have turned and gone the other way and she never would have known I'd seen her. I thought about it, but I felt the Spirit leading me, encouraging me to go towards her.

We had a nice conversation and I realized afterwards that she was just like me. I knew a lot of her secrets and who she used to be too. Time changes people and its hard when you see someone, to realize they are different. She looked pretty much the same, just as I do. Same hair, same height, same voice, but its the inside I couldn't see. The inside of me that she couldn't see either, my heart. Because though the outside of me doesn't look much different, if she could see my heart, she wouldn't even recognize who I was.

I have to remind myself that who I am is because of God's grace, His mercy, His love. I am not ashamed of the stupid things I have done because I wouldn't be who I am today without all that other stuff. I was talking to my mother and she reminded me not to look back, not to let Satan gain a stronghold. I am not who I was back then and I have no reason to avoid people from that time of my life. It is an opportunity to show others where I was and where God has brought me. That is my testimony. I can't be ashamed of it.

If our paths should cross again, I look forward to it. I know that it is the Lord who brought her back into my life again. I must trust that He knows what He is doing and let go of everything else.

"...My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. ~2 Cor. 12:9

"...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." ~2 Cor. 10:5