A Mother's Heart

Where have YOU been?!?!

Oh right-I'M the one whose been missing from this blog. I know it's been a while. I have written in my head, so many things I wanted to share with you, I just couldn't find the time to type it out. Life is so busy, I can't keep everything straight. Today the Lord knew I needed a much needed break. The boys are resting and I’m eating ice cream, listening to Pandora and BLOGGING!!!! As I was trying to figure out what to do in this quiet living room, I was reminded of a blog post I’d written a few weeks ago, which happened to remind me of a photo I took this weekend. I went and edited this a little so it’s not so raw, but for the most part, I think raw and written from the heart is better than polished with perfect English! I wrote this a few weeks ago…

Last night I could not sleep, I was writing in my head, over and over the words on my heart. I was laying silent, yet screaming on the inside. Sad, discouraged, not sure what to do and pouring my heart out to the One who could hear my inward thoughts. Parenting-it is no easy thing. My husband and I were struggling with some discipling issues with our daughter. Tough love is so much easier to say than to do!

Our oldest is turning 12 this month-and I am struggling with this birthday, probably more than any other she's had so far. It is the last one where she is technically not turning a teenager and technically not turning an adult. How can I raise her to be the person God wants her to be with a heart sold out to Him, in the midst the world we live in?

Most of my daughter’s friends either have a cell phone, an ipod touch or some type of handheld internet device. When they hang out together, they’ll watch music videos and look up stuff on Google. I once read several years ago that you should put your computer in the living room-not in some back, closed door office. This way when your kids are on the internet, you can keep an eye on what they are looking at. How are we as parents supposed to do that and regulate what our children see, when it comes in the form of a two inch square that can fit in your back pocket?

Recently we upgraded our cell phones to Droid's. I've got to admit-being able to check email, look up live weather maps, directions, and any other kind of info-has come in very handy. I'm not sure I'd ever want to go back. Yet, one thing I've noticed is when I'm on the internet on my phone, using various app's etc. there is almost always some type of ad on the bottom of my screen. It is usually near a button I need to push, almost causing me to accidentally hit the wrong thing. It's not a Wal-mart ad or an innocent infomercial-no it's usually some type of dating site. If I get that kind of JUNK on my own phone-I can only assume others do to-including those innocent girls who have the same types of hand held internet devices.

We know that as children of God, "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, ...it's against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:12) We also know that the Thief "comes ONLY to steal and kill and destroy" (John 10:10). A while ago, I started praying that God would open our eyes to the spiritual battles going on all around us; that He would send His bright light to make all things visible (Eph 5:13). When life gets hard, it is so easy to blame it on someone else or that you are simply just having a bad day; maybe it was being at the wrong place at the wrong time, or simply being busy etc, etc. when in reality, many times it's a spiritual battle we face, every moment of our lives...and our children are in that same battle-it is our job to protect them as much as we can, from that evil-to teach them to recognize it when they are in tempting situations and to stand up and fight against it. We cannot create a safety bubble around our kids, but we can create a prayer cloud that surrounds them, going with them. When we started homeschooling, so many people accused us of being naive-like the only reason we pulled our daughter out of school was so we could control her environment. I am not stupid-I know that she will be exposed to the world and all it holds, but I am responsible to make sure she can handle it when those times come.

This morning, as I was reading God's Word I came across this verse, "You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the One who calls you." (Galatians 5:7-8). As our children grow-they are more aware of their peers-what they get to do, how they get to dress, what their parents let them watch on TV and books they let them read. Suddenly the child who looked up to us, is now looking to others to fit in and their approval matters more. We must try and encourage good friendships-the kind who will encourage them to be the kind of people God wants them to be. It is our job to make sure that those things-or other people will not sway them from God's path-that they will not "cut in" on them and lead them down a wrong road.

I encourage you to pray for your children and to be their parent. Don’t be afraid to say no or to discipline them when they do wrong. It’s how they grow and how they learn right from wrong. It's ok for them to be disappointed and to not have everything they want. Those hard times can create important life lessons that will stay with them forever. As a parent, I am to raise them to love the Lord, to build that spiritual foundation that they can build on for the rest of their lives. And then I must let them go-all the while praying they will follow His path for their lives.

"He tends His flock like a shepherd;He gathers the lambs in His arms and He carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young."~Isaiah 40:11

More Important

I don't understand why young people who are so full of life, have to die. I don't know why God closes the womb of women who long for a child and would make amazing mothers. Why does He allow good people to be struck with illnesses and disease that change their lives forever? Why does He let children be hurt and abducted? In situations like these it's easy to ask, "Why, Lord...why?"

The other night we were driving home and out our window was the pinkest, brightest sunset I think I have ever seen. As soon as we got home, I rushed inside to grab my camera to try and capture this gift God had placed right outside my door. I stood on our neighborhood sign, climbed a tree, walked up a large hill, yet no matter how hard I tried, I could not get above the outline of houses in the neighborhood to capture this amazing view. It was not quite how I pictured it in my head. Just as I was about to jump back in my car and try to find a higher ground, a verse popped in my head. It was plain as day, here I was looking up with man-made houses in my view, while God's amazing artwork lay ahead, just beyond my eye. I could see a glimpse of it, but nowhere near the whole picture. Suddenly I knew-this was the picture He wanted me to capture, this was His message.

I will go to my grave not understanding why horrible, heart wrenching things happen to innocent people. God's Word says His ways are not even LIKE our ways, His thoughts are not even LIKE our thoughts. They don't even compare. They are not in the same ballpark or the same universe. satan can take a small amount of "Why, Lord?" and turn it into a boulder that blocks ones view of the Lord walking along side you.

There are a lot of things in this world that I will never understand, but I will also go to my grave knowing that God loved me-Marion, so much that He sent His one and only Son to die for me (John 3:16). He would rather die than live eternity without me...or without you. The enemy tries over and over to knock us down and then to keep us there, but when you find yourself on your knees-turn to the One who will lift you up again. Turn to the one who DOES have all the answers, even when you don't. He does hear your prayers and He loves you more than you will ever, ever know. And knowing that, is more important than all those other things that I will never understand.

"You bestow glory on me and lift up my head,

to the Lord I cry out and He answers me from His holy hill."

Psalms 3:3-4

Shine!

Another school year is beginning. I am always amazed at how I feel this time of year. I hear friends talking about the apprehension of dropping their kids off at school for the first time, students excited to go back and see their friends, other homeschool moms, like myself trying to get it all together. It is a bittersweet time of year.You mourn the loss of freedom that summer brings, yet you're excited about the new adventures before you. I think as a mom, it is much like when my kids have birthdays-it's a reminder that time is moving rapidly and my children are growing (and a tiny part of you mourns that!), yet you are so proud and so thankful to be a part of that process.

One of my visions as a photographer is to one day make a coffee table book full of photos of God's creation, mixed with His Holy Word. His creation is so powerful. And so is His word. If I can strap the two together, maybe I can reach someone out there who is lost. Maybe the next time someone sees a beautiful sunrise or hears a thunderstorm-they will think of Him.

So why do I start off talking about school and then end with photography? Because I felt inspired this day as children go back to the hustle and bustle of the classroom. I thought of this picture that I took just a few weeks ago at the beach and was reminded of this verse.

As beautiful as God's sunrise is-His light that shines from you is more powerful and more radient. If you are a teacher greeting a new class-show those kids His light. If you are a student making new friends, trying to fit in and find your place in this world-never forget what a difference you can make on your campus. Be HIS light this school year. As the old saying goes, "You may be the only Bible a person ever sees".

So go! Let your light shine before others and watch to see what heavenly opportunities He brings your way! Now that sounds like my kind of adventure! Happy 2010-2011 school year everyone-let the fun begin!

Professional Week: Baby Twin Girls!

I was so excited when my friend emailed me about taking pictures of her new baby twin daughters. I love taking pictures of babies so this was double the fun! These babies have two older sisters who just loved helping to do anything with their baby sisters. I kept thinking of my own two sisters and how much fun this group is going to have as they grow up together! Hopefully their poor daddy, who is very outnumbered, will be able to handle it! Whenever I hear people say, "We are going to have one more baby and then we are done." I think of this mama. That's what she said and God gave her two babies instead! Allison always tells people, "He knew that twins was the only way we'd end up with four kids!" I can't imagine the surprise of finding out you are carrying twins! God knew this mama could handle it. She takes these babies to church, out shopping and all over the place most folks don't go with only one baby! She is so amazing to me and makes parenting two infants look so easy! I wish I could be as laid back and relaxed over raising my own four children! I hope you enjoy these two little miracles.

Professional Week: Soccer Team Pic's

This was the first time I made an order form with various pre-paid packages. I did lots of research online, getting advice on the easiest way to go about keeping all the paperwork and money straight. The problem can be Joe Bob ordered Package D-but I don't know who Joe Bob is. I gave each parent an envelope to put their money and order form in. On the outside of the envelope I wrote down the frame number from my camera so that I would know whose picture was whose when I uploaded them. Once I got home and chose the best of the 2-3 shots of each child, I renamed that pictures file with the child's name. Granted, this was a very small scale of this type of photography since it was just one team-and a small team at that, but it was a great experience for me.

We were scheduled to take pictures the day before the torrential rain a few weeks ago. Due to time, we were forced reschedule pictures on a Saturday before a game. The problem with that is there were tons of people at the soccer fields playing games and there weren't a lot of options. We had to use the goal that the team was assigned to play their morning game, for the backdrop. I chose the one that was facing the other half of the soccer fields-versus facing the parking lot. I knew that either goal would have people walking around in the background, but this goal would have the people way far away, versus right up close. I was very careful to stop when I saw people walking into the shot. I noticed that there were other people way, far away on the whole other side of the fields, but I didn't think it would really matter since they were so far away. Boy was I wrong! I was so mad when I came home and uploaded the pictures to see bright red shirts and blue trashcans in the far off distance. I knew that there had to be a way to fix it to make it look more professional. A question I get asked often is, "What do you do to the photos in Photoshop?". I thought this might be a great time to show you a little before and after pictures so you can see the difference for yourself.

Here is a before and after shot. Using the Clone and Paint tool in Photoshop, I was able to very carefully and tediously, take out the people in the background. I had to be really careful because I have to zoom up really close to do this, not seeing the whole area. When I would zoom out there were several times I'd see legs, but no body! It doesn't make for a very cheerful picture to see ghost-like people walking around a soccer field! Next I deepened the color to make it pop and little bit more. Lastly I cropped it. Photoshop really can be an amazing tool once you learn how to use it!

This one was a little easier to fix and the differences might not be as noticeable as the last one.

Here are just a few of the other edited pictures from this cute soccer team of 4-6 year olds.

I took a silly team picture and gave each child a free 4x6 of this picture with their order.

Professional Week: Infant, Siblings & Four Generations

I share the same birthday as Wesley's best friend, Seth. One Sunday his wife pulled Wesley aside and said that she was thinking about throwing Seth a surprise 30th birthday party. She wanted to see if we might be able to come. She didn't know the details at the time and figured that we probably would not be able attend because we'd be out celebrating my birthday the same night.


It ended up that she was right. Wesley bought us tickets to the Springer and asked me to choose the restaurant for dinner. I decided I really wanted to eat somewhere that we don't normally go. Driving downtown that night, we both talked about how we wished we knew where Seth's party was so we could at least stop by for a few minutes. I was also torn between two different restaurants and at the last minute chose where to eat. We walked into the front part of the restaurant and up walks in a friend from high school. He asked us who all was there, like we were meeting him. I looked at Wesley and we both busted out laughing. I asked if they were there for Seth's surprise party, which of course they were. What are the odds? Seriously! We decided right then and there that God wanted us at that party! The chances were so slim that we would choose the same place, at the same time, out of all the other places to eat in the city-and I had chosen where to eat at the very last second too!

Through regular "catching up" talk over dinner, it came out that I was a photographer. After that night, I became friends on Facebook with an old friend that was there. Through Facebook she was able to see my work and soon contacted me about setting up a shoot. She lives in Birmingham, but her family still lives here so we figured out a date that I was available and that she could drive down to take pictures. It is always so neat to me to see how God brings people in my path! He orchestrates meetings that leave me knowing without a doubt, that it was His time, and His plan. I wish it was always so easy to see His hand-sometimes I just need to make myself step back and look for it!


The main goal of this shoot was to document this sweet baby's dress that her grandmother made. The whole time I was shooting the four generation pictures I kept thinking about how I knew these pictures would be treasured for generations to come. This great-grandmother is 80 years old while the tiny baby she is holding is only 6 months old. I love thinking of how many years it is between them and how just 80 short years ago, that sweet lady was a baby herself. How fast life goes. I really enjoyed looking at the great-grandmothers pictures and hearing stories of when she was little. I just soak up stuff like that!


Well enough explaining I suppose!-I hope you enjoy the pictures!