Heavenly Timing

Our sweet Fosterman turned a whole four fingers this past weekend. Every year on his birthday, I can't help but reflect on God's timing surrounding his conception and his birth. Five years ago, I was married, living in Albany, GA and commuting to Columbus to finish up my business degree from Columbus State University. Two nights a week after Wesley got home from work, I'd drive straight to CSU and go to a late class, sleep at my parents house and then go to morning classes the next day. Randol was in kindergarten and she'd stay with Wesley. He'd drop her off at school in the morning and I'd be out of class and back in Albany in time to pick her up. In addition to finishing up my degree, Wesley and I had decided we'd start trying to have a baby. We both wanted me to be finished with school, but I think I really just wanted a child as close to Randol's age as possible and figured the whole school thing would work itself out!

Not long after my last semester started, we found out that my precious Gramma, who is still such a huge part of my heart, was dying. She had been a breast cancer survivor for over twenty years and now the doctors told her Thanksgiving would be our last holiday with her. She was living next door to my parents house, with my aunt and uncle so while I was in town for school, I spent every moment I could with her. This news, made me increase the pressure on myself to hurry up and get pregnant. I wanted her to share in all the excitement and planning of having a baby. Every month, my cycle would be off and I'd excitedly take a pregnancy test and every month it said negative. Finally, after such a roller coaster of going to the doctor only to have him tell me no, he finally said I was under too much stress and that my body couldn't work right. He put me on some medicine to help me ovulate. By this time, I was getting really worried. What if something was wrong and Wesley and I couldn't have children? What if Randol was our only child? Wesley was more worried about me than the thought of not ever getting pregnant. We decided to stop trying for a while, and focus on spending as much time as we could taking care of my Gramma Nance.

Thanksgiving came and went and she was still with us. Then Christmas passed and there she still was! The doctors told us that she was a miracle. She wanted so badly to see me graduate from college and God granted her wish in January 2005. I would spend long afternoons doing puzzles with her and staying up late, watching American Idol and talking about stories of when she was young. We drove down every weekend to see her. I would race next door in the morning and make us coffee and watch the news with her. I soaked up every minute I could. There were a few times Wesley and I would sleep at my aunts house and wake up in the middle of the night to take care of her. I still treasure those early mornings.

Three days after Valentine's Day, she went home. As much as my heart was breaking to let her go, I am so glad I was there by her side as she took her final breath. My Grandpa, mom, aunt and many cousins surrounded her, holding her hand, her feet and I was at her head. We all spoke so gently, telling her how much we loved her and how it was ok for her to go. The moment she took her final breath my very first thought was, "She can see my baby before I can...am I pregnant?" I turned to look in the corner of the bedroom and I could feel her eyes on me. I wondered if God had sent her daddy to come get her or maybe her older sister who had died when she was young. I wasn't sure who was there, but I knew that I was in the presence of angels; this world and the spiritual world collided in her bedroom, if only for a moment.

A few days later, after the memorial service and everything had settled down, we went home to Albany. One of the first things I did was take a pregnancy test and this time it was positive! In a time of such grief, God had answered my prayer of having another child. It was a beautiful reminder that He is still in control and that life must keep on moving despite her absence.

Fast forward nine months. I was a week away from my due date. I was tired and hot and just plain tired of being pregnant! While dropping Randol off in her Sunday School class I ran into a friend who told me, "Marion, this baby will come in God's timing. He's getting everything ready right now, making sure the right doctor and nurses are on staff. This baby will come when He's ready!" I took comfort in her words, but had no idea just how true her words were about God's timing. The day before my due date, our sweet Foster Allen was born. All 9lbs and 5 oz of him! The first night in the hospital, our nurse came to our room. She started sharing some hard things that were going on in her life. I shared some of my own experiences and tried as best as I could to share with her God's hope in the midst of what seemed to be a hopeless situation. The next morning before getting off her shift she jokingly asked if I had a sister she could introduce to her son! She started telling me a little about her son who loved the outdoors, drove a jeep and was a senior at the Air Force Academy. The more she talked, the more I could see how her son and my sister, Katie would make a great match. She got Katie's email address and phone number and left. When Katie came to see me at the hospital that day, I told her that a great guy who she'd never met yet, might call! The next morning as Wesley and I waited to be discharged from the hospital, the phone rang. It was that same nurse, telling me had lost Katie's information and asked if I could give it to her again!

A few weeks later, her son emailed Katie, apologizing, but saying that his mother would not quit asking if he had contacted her yet. They started emailing and decided they would meet each other when he was home for Thanksgiving. As they say, the rest is history! They celebrated their three year wedding anniversary in July and have a daughter that will be a year old on Saturday!

Isn't God's timing amazing?!? There are times in my life when I can look back and see His hand so clearly. Yet, somehow in the midst of it, I forget that He has a plan for my life that is so much better than anything I could ever expect. All those times of seeing that negative pregnancy test, the days of crying over the thought of my Gramma not being there for Christmas, my moments of frustration over still being pregnant, God was calmly telling me to trust Him and trust His timing. He knows best-every time and in any situation! In Isaiah 55:8-9, God's Word tells us, "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." When life doesn't make sense, when you feel like you keep praying for answers and aren't receiving any, remember, His ways are not like our ways. Our minds cannot even comprehend what He is trying to do! In Proverbs 4:11, God says, "I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths." Keep trusting, keep praying and keep your eyes on the One True Guide for your life!