My Little Soldier

I have to admit, lately all I feel is tired. Tired of laundry, tired of changing diapers, tired of cooking dinner and picking up toys. I could keep going, but you catch my drift. Once 8 o'clock hits, I'm tired of being "Mommy". All I want is to sit, in peace and quiet and do what I want to do. It's hard for me to admit this because of how unbelievably selfish it sounds, but if I'm honest, its truly how I've been feeling. This afternoon, an unusual thing happenned-both my boys took naps at the same time. It was actually quiet in my living room. My tiredness was rewarded in such a way that I am not worthy.

Today, the Lord reminded me just how important it is to be a mother. The angels sang and God smiled as my sweet Randol asked Jesus into her heart, on our couch, holding my hands. There were tears in both our eyes as I squashed the urge to cry out in excitement. I knew when I looked in those eyes that this was for real. I knew that one day, no matter what our futures held, I'd see my baby girl in heaven one day. Ahh, blessed assurance, Jesus is mine.

I have been praying for her for so long. We have had so many good talks. She asks questions, Wesley and I answer. She's been so close, for so long. I have prayed, I have worried and I have agonized over her salvation. For God to let me be there, holding her hand, looking into her sweet face and sharing in her joy, it was better than I could have ever asked for, better than I deserve. I thank Him so much for such a gift.

This was a huge decision that she must make on her own, with no pressure. As Wesley said today, it is the biggest decision she will ever make in her whole life; bigger than what you want to be when you grow up or who you're going to marry. To follow Christ is a life long decision.

Today God reminded me that it doesn't matter if I did laundry all day and I'm still not finished or that my living room looks like a daycare. It doesn't matter if I'm still in my pajamas from this morning and its after 9 pm. All that does matter, is that I am building soldiers for Christ. Day by day, prayer by prayer, I'll stay the course and I'll keep praying I am the mother I am supposed to be. This is more important than any job, any deadline or any appointment. We can't leave it up to the Sunday School teacher or the preacher to tell our children about Christ. It is our job. We are the constant light our young children see that will either draw them closer to Christ-or farther away from Him. Stay vigilant, stay the course and keep praying for your children. No prayer goes unnoticed or unheard.

I know that this is only the beginning. Randol has a long road ahead of her, but now I know He'll be there to carry her along no matter what comes her way. My body may still feel tired, but my spirit is strong and re-focused on the "main thing" of raising children. Today...my cup runneth over.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."
~Deuteronomy 6:5-7