What a Nightmare

I woke up to the doorbell ringing. I rolled over and glanced at the clock. It was after midnight. Suddenly my eyes widened as I knew without ever answering the door, who was there. My husband got up and said he'd handle it. I got out of bed and started pacing my bedroom floor. I was waiting. I didn't know what for, but I knew something was about to happen and it wasn't going to be good. My two year old son was asleep in the corner of the room. I tried to watch his steady breathing to calm my anxious heart that had suddenly lept into my throat.

The door to my room burst opened. There stood a big man with tanned skin and an evil look in his eye. He grabbed my arm and tried to fling me down the hallway, separating me from my son. I yanked my arm away and picked up my child who had started to wake from his slumber. The man looked at me and said, "Fine, have it your way," and pushed me down the hallway. He shoved me into a room that was only lit by one dim light. My husband was sitting at the end of a long table. He was surrounded by men three times his size. I was surprised to see blood trickling down his mouth and a his left eye, severely swollen. He caught my eye as I walked in the room and I could see the fear in his eyes; not fear for himself, but fear that his wife and child were in danger. You could feel the evil in that place like I had never felt before.

Another man, grabbed my son out of my arms. His small body just dangled there as the large man held my child by just his arm. "Momma," he kept crying over and over again. This giant Goliath looked at me and said, "Who do you call Lord?" I looked him in the eye and said, "Jesus" He took out a shiny, silver revolver and shoved it to my son's temple. My son screamed out in fear. The man looked at me and asked again, "Who do you call Lord?"

I silently prayed,"Must I really choose between You and my child, Father? Is this really happening?" I looked at my precious child, with his big blue eyes and tears running down his sweet cheeks. He looked at my husband and I with confusion-weren't we supposed to protect him from the bad guys? I tried to buy myself more time, but the man yelled, "Who do you call Lord?"

With tears running down my cheeks and my heart pounding I cried out, "Jesus". I never heard the revolver go off, I only saw my child's body go limp and his eyes close. The agony I felt in that moment was too great to put into words. I looked at my husband who had his head bowed, looking at the floor as though he were praying.

Goliath threw my sons body to the corner of the room and came up behind me. He grabbed my neck to steady my head, took out the revolver that just killed my son and looked at my husband. "Who do you call Lord?" I could feel his large hand about to cover my mouth and I screamed out the only words that popped into my head-"Greater is He who is in you, than he who is in the world...Store up your treasures in heaven where moth and rust cannot destroy." My husband looked me in the eye and in anguish cried out, "Jesus". I heard a small boom in my right ear, but it sounded more like an echo. I saw my husband cry out and reach for me as my body fell. And all I saw was darkness...

Then I woke up.

My heart was pounding and all I could see in my head was that last look on my husband's face. I rolled over and there he was, sound asleep laying next to me. I sat up and thanked the Lord that it was all a dream. Needless to say, going back to sleep after that, was not going to happen. I laid in bed and felt such a burden to pray for the missionaries in the world. They live with things like this actually happening. I remember reading somewhere years ago about a modern day Job. There was a missionary living in a third world country who had seven children. Men came to his house and lined his kids up in a row. They asked the missionary who he worshipped, one by one pointing a gun at each child's temple. Every time he answered Jesus, they killed one of his children. He lost his whole family that day, including his wife. When you read about something like that, its hard not to ask yourself, what would I have done in that situation?

We live in America where we worry about hurting someones feelings and offending people. They live in third world countries where they worry about being killed or losing their families. We worship in large churches and can sing our praises to God anytime we want. They worship in underground caves and in hiding. Their prayers are mere whispers in order for authorities not to overhear and forfeit their lives. The risks don't quite compare do they? I am ashamed of myself when I think of these brave men and women. Here I am, wondering what a sacrifice it will be if I help out with Vacation Bible School or the kids summer program at church, while they are giving not just their time-but their lives.

Last night at church, a friend of mine said she'd been thinking-what if the Bible was still being written today, what stories would go in there from our day? Would there be any stories about faith, here in America? Would you be in there? It really got me thinking. Am I living my life worthy of the cross? Jesus never said following Him would be easy, in fact if you look at the lives of his disciples, most died a gruesome death. But they didn't die in vain.

Paul said to live is Christ, to die is gain, either way you win because you are with Him (Philippians 1:21). If my dream were to have actually happened, I would have woken up in heaven and would have been rejoined with my son-to live is Christ, to die is gain.

What is it you are doing for Christ today? I guarantee you, He has a mission for you-a purpose. So often we get bogged down with the things of this world that we forget that we are supposed to be living for the things in the next world. Set your eyes on what is unseen. There is a reason and a purpose you were born in this lifetime. What is it? Will you accomplish His mission? Will He say, "Well done my good and faithful servant," when you reach those pearly gates? My friend, the sacrifices and risks you take today-will be worth it.