A lot Like Me

I'm such a slacker in my blogging lately! To be honest-I have been holding on with a thread to try and get through these last few homeschooling weeks that I have not had much time for anything else. Why is it, the last few weeks of school are so hard? I am happy to say that I finally made it. With the exception of needing to finish writing a Geography final and grading a few papers, I have successfully finished teaching the 3rd grade! This week, my mother is doing our daughter's standardized testing (thanks SO much mom!). That has been a blessing to me, not to have to try and figure out how to do that without getting distracted by her two brothers!

This year was much harder than last year, but I think that is due to having a new baby and two boys who needed me as much as my student needed my attention! I think next year will be much easier. Wesley and I will keep homeschooling until the Lord releases us from the responsibility. For my parents who homeschooled my four siblings and I, the Lord told them to put us back in public school in middle school. I don't know if we'll do that or not. It is truly a year by year basis where we will decide. Sometimes, its a day by day thing where I have visions of sticking my children in the van and driving over to enroll her in the nearest school I find! (Thankfully the Lord always gives me strength in those moments to keep pressing on!) All that being said, I really hope I will have more time and inspiration to write more this summer.

Anyway, let me get to why I logged on to write to you in the first place! I thought I would share with you what happened at church on Sunday. I cannot quit thinking about it and I pray you can be in awe of our Heavenly Father like I was. We had a guest singer/speaker to lead our worship service. He was a member of the 1990's country band, Confederate Railroad. I wasn't amazed so much by that, because in my naivety I didn't really know much about that band. It wasn't until he said that Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney were his opening act that I realized just how famous a guy he was. (Am I showing my young age or what?) Anyway, he shared his testimony of being on the road and living the famous life filled with lots of money, lots of women and later lots of drugs. He had everything the world could offer, but he was absolutely miserable and empty. He told us how God swept him from the depths and saved him.

It wasn't his testimony so much that spoke to me, as much as what happened as a result of it. During the invitation time, many people came down and prayed, one rededicated her life, another said he wanted to be baptized. There was no question that God was at work amongst His people. It came down to the end of the invitation time and the Holy Spirit must have spoken to our pastor. Instead of closing and dismissing everyone to go home, he said that he really felt like there was someone else out there who was hanging on to that pew as hard as he could. He wanted to sing one more verse to give others a chance to come. I was sitting in the middle section of the church and the pastor was directly in front of me. Suddenly I saw him-red faced, tears pouring down his face, coming from the side. I wanted to shout, "Look-there he is, the one you were talking about!" He engulfed our pastor in a bear hug and I could hear his sobs. I lost it, I couldn't hold back my tears. I knew why he came and I knew that he had found what he needed most in all this world. To make this story even sweeter, this wasn't a man who went to church regularly, but God grabbed him while he was there for a short while. It was also Baptism Sunday. This man had come to watch a family member get baptized and that was why he was there. Isn't that such a beautiful picture of His love? He longs for us to come to Him and to reach out to Him and so many times we don't. And when we don't go looking for Him-He's always looking at us, trying to grab our attention.

The last few days I have thought about that man. I don't know his story, where he came from or what he's been through, but I do know that we are a lot alike. I can still remember my own face looking much like his did and my sobs sounding just as loud as his were. I remember the moment my eyes were opened and I saw God's love for me. It didn't matter what I had done or where my sinful life had taken me-He loved me anyway and He was longing to bring me home to where I belonged. I am so grateful that He didn't give up on me like so many people would have. He pursues our hearts and longs for us to make Him our Lord and Savior. He has blessed my life so much.

When I look at the Bible, I don't see perfect people that God used and that Jesus healed. I see murders, adulterers, prostitutes, the greedy, the faithless, the selfish and the stubborn. I see men and women who well...are a lot like me. Thankfully Jesus saved them anyway and God still did amazing things through their lives. He forgave them and just like the Prodigal son's father- He rejoices and grabs us in His arms and loves on us. The angels in heaven rejoice over our tears and our brokenness that brings us closer to God. Never think you have gone too far where He cannot reach you. Never think that a relationship with Him is meant for the perfect people who do no wrong. (For there is no such thing).

You are dearly loved and strongly pursued by the One who gave everything just so you could be together for eternity. Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound...

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is make perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me...For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9, 10b