Letting Go

Two years ago, I woke up on a morning such as this, only I was pregnant with my son Foster and due any day. I sat on my couch and wrote in my journal. I was so anxious and a little afraid of the whole labor process. I was scared of how a new baby was going to effect Randol after being an "only child" for so long. I was afraid for myself and this new responsibility. I questioned my mothering skills, wondering if I had what it took to have another child. I was worried about the timing, would my mom and my mother-in-law get to be at the hospital like they both wanted? Would Wesley be able to get out of work or what if he was in the courtroom and no one could tell him I was in labor? So many things running through my head. That morning, I gave them all to my Heavenly Father. I poured out my heart to Him and asked Him to forgive my silly thoughts and to relieve me of my anxiousness. I can still remember how relieved I felt after unloading my (silly) burden.

That night around midnight my contractions were so intense that we went to the hospital. Foster was born the next morning and he was by far my easiest labor! Everything I worried about-He took care of, better than I ever could have hoped for. I knew the Lord was with me. He was faithful. I took Him at His Word to hear my prayer and He did.

This morning I also feel discouraged-not over having a baby, but over life in general. A few things have happened lately that's hard for me to let go of. I tend to think of things and let them fester in my mind. I need to let go and realize-I cannot please everyone and there will always be some people who will not like me-no matter how hard I try.

And that's ok.

I have to realize that there are some situations that only God can fix. I need to let go and let Him work and quit running myself ragged to try and do it all myself. So, I come this morning with a heavy, but hopeful heart. I know my Redeemer lives and I know that it is what He thinks that matters more than any person here on earth. Just as He comforted and relieved my heavy heart two years ago, I know He can do the same this morning, I just have to let it go...

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful;

but heartache crushes the spirit."

~Proverbs 15:13