Just BE!

Yesterday I wasted away my morning joining Facebook.com. My sisters have been after me for some time now to join. They always put their pictures on there and I never get to see them since I'm not a member. The main reason I hesitated signing up was because I was so afraid I wouldn't have any "friends" and I would look like a huge dork. Honestly, that's what held me back. How stupid is that? Not only was a VERY surprised by how many people I knew, but I didn't have enough time to see every one's pictures and quotes etc. because there were too many people to look at!

Last night I wanted to write on my blog, but I was too preoccupied on facebook again. I felt like once again, I had wasted so much of my free time doing nothing, meanwhile all the things I needed to do were piling up. As fun as it is, I hope I can do a better job of getting off the web site!

Lately I feel like every time I have free time-Me time I call it, I find myself wasting it away. I talk on the phone for too long or look up useless things on the Internet or read a book for hours. When "my time is up" and the babies wake up, I find myself left feeling empty, like I should've been doing something else constructive. I am an organized person when it comes to planning and getting things done (not when it comes to my house :-) I like to set goals and plan out my day. When I get sidetracked and then get behind, I feel stressed like I have to catch up. Why do I make myself feel like that?

In today's society I think we are expected to "be all things to all people", the perfect wife, the patient mother, the best student, the one known at work who "gets the job done" etc. On and on the list goes. There is NO WAY we can EVER live up to those standards, we are NOT perfect people. We may be good at cooking or crafts or math or whatever, but we cannot be good in everything. We set ourselves up for failure when we try to be. I need to learn to let go and just be. This morning I found myself asking for the Lord's guidance and wisdom in a certain situation, then I heard His voice in my head say, "You ask me for answers, but you won't sit still long enough to listen and get it." My mind is constantly going, thinking about everything and nothing at all, how do I make myself sit...still? How do I let go and let God? As bad as it sounds, how do I find time to do that? I must keep learning how or I will not make it in this world! I will be a stressed out, over-worrier and under-achiever if I cannot let go and just BE!

"He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm."
~Mark 4:39

(I feel like all the distractions in my life are the wind and Jesus is trying to say, "Quiet! Be still!" and everything would die down and be completely calm, if I would let Him and quit trying to do it all on my own.)