The Sweet Surprise

Yesterday Wesley and I were given a sweet surprise by my mother.We needed to take our van into the shop to get it looked at and asked my mom to come over to watch the kids so I didn't have to deal with transferring over car seats etc. She called on her way over to tell me that she was watching my children while my husband and I go to lunch (that she was paying for), after we dropped off the van. I fought her and fought her, saying she didn't need to. She insisted and finally as an obedient daughter, I went.

The whole time I was driving to meet Wesley at the car shop I kept thinking, "I don't feel stressed, like I need a break from my children." The moment I saw Wesley's sweet face beaming at me with such excitement in his eyes, I knew-he needed time alone with me. We didn't go anywhere fancy or spend all afternoon leisurely taking our time. Just having that hour and a half to ourselves to sit and talk without worrying about Randol's ears listening or losing your train of thought because the baby is crying, that small amount of time was enough. We sat in the booth and talked non stop until we left.

I have heard of people saying that they accidentally put their children before their marriage and before they know it, the children are gone and they are left living with a stranger. It happened to too many of my friends parents after high school. It makes sense right? The kids need you, can't do things without you, time is scarce, by the time you put kids to bed and are alone with your spouse, your so exhausted and ready to go to sleep yourself. Welsey and I always promised each other that we wouldn't be that way. That we would stay up a little later, put the kids to bed a little earlier if need be, just to be able to stay connected, to stay best friends. I know that hard times will come and go, but I pray that we are strong enough to make it through any storm.

I haven't been married very long and I don't claim to be an expert, but to me marriage isn't about the big things-the anniversary gifts or what trips you took together-its about all the small things. It's the little "I love you's", holding hands watching the news and goodbye kisses as they leave for work. It's the way you look at each other, the tone of your voice when you talk to each other and how you respect each other. It's all the day to day things that matter the most.

I want others to look at the relationship with my husband and know it is real, know we are soul mates and are inseparable without the other. I want to leave a legacy of love behind for my children and my grandchildren. Growing up, my parents would fight sometimes, but I never worried about them getting a divorce or having to decide which parent to live with. I knew that they loved each other and respected each other and couldn't live without the other. I want my children to have that same assurance.

Sharing children with the one you love, can be one of the greatest adventures or the greatest hardships, its up to you how you make the journey.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."
~Genesis 2:24

PS~ On another note, if you are in an abusive relationship, please do not stay and "weather any storm". Take care of yourself and of your children. In those cases, putting your child first, before your marriage is essential. I have been in one of those relationships and I know thinking, "It will get better" does not always work. Please seek the help you desperately need.